I have not been a good blogger this week and there's a reason. The reason is that I have started writing a parenting column twice a week for a new website that will launch in December. I'll invite you there, when it goes live. Meantime, though there's no direct poaching of subject matter (well, not in the columns I worked on this week), there is a general overlap between the genres. The columns are polished, obviously, and much more topically focused. But are blog-like in that I'm talking about real things that are really happening.
But I need to continue this blog, and push to find a few minutes here and there (like right now--while CJ "washes" every plastic dish in the house in our kitchen sink while standing precariously under-supervised upon a stool with a revolving seat while juggling lit matches ... um, just kidding about that last thing. Please stay calm. And, yes, aren't I eminently qualified to write a Parenting Column? I find myself muttering that on occasion since landing the gig. Hey, this is a great Parenting Column moment. Parenting Expert over here! Please, nobody look!).
Because I haven't blogged most of the week, I've got an overload of topics on the brain. Such as, how has this return-to-school experiment gone? I'll tell you. I'm not a student anymore. It's not part of my identity. It would suck to go back to school for real. It would take some humbling. And a genuine desire to acquire the skills contained within the degree--and to get to the end. That's the only reason I'd go back. If it felt imperative. I've enjoyed stretching my brain, and it's awfully pleasant to spend a couple of hours away from home every Thursday evening, but, hey, I could accomplish that by going for a walk with a girlfriend, and get some exercise to boot. Also, though he hasn't explicitly expressed this, I'm pretty sure Kevin is terrified that I might go back to school. This experiment (ONE CLASS THIS TERM!) has proven how hard it would be on the whole family to launch this mother into a new career. It would be a full-family project, and I wouldn't be the only one making sacrifices. Interesting. Trot over to my Moms Are Feminists Too blog which is where I really should be venting about this subject and discovering creative solutions.
If only I weren't so tired. Topic four. So Tired. I felt so tired this afternoon it was like being extremely hungry, except insert sleep for hunger. And CJ declined to nap. This took me way back, when, after a night spent up with two kids under two, I'd be so exhausted by mid-morning that I'd try for a brief nap on the living-room floor with Apple-Apple crawling on my head and Albus pulling open my eyelids. Good times.
Well. I have managed to rouse myself in order to cook up a delicious-smelling hamburger curry which simmers on the stove behind me now while light-as-air rice is steaming inside a clay pot in the oven while CJ tries out surfing in a giant wok on the kitchen floor (having safely descended). Some of the things mentioned in the last over-long sentence feel like achievements. Actually, they all do, even the surfing undersupervised (and entirely content) toddler. No one's going to grade me on these accomplishments, or, likely, even say thanks, but nevertheless ... the best moment yesterday was walking onto campus and remembering the warmth of the scene I'd left behind: bean/sausage/endive soup and fresh-baked bread upon the table, which one of the children had set without (major) complaint, my family sitting down to eat. (Though apparently both soup and bread struck out with the two youngest, who dined on cereal instead). Nevertheless. It's a scene that takes constant vigilance and effort to conjure, day after day; my life. Ours.
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