I've been writing more regularly on my side-project blog, Swim/Run/Bike Mama (yup, it's on the triathlon project), and less regularly, perhaps, here. Since finishing the 365-project (apparently, I thrive on projects), I've hardly picked up the camera. I am giving myself a full week of breathing before even thinking about what to do next, photography-wise; but one interesting discovery is that out of 365 photos, there are about thirty that stand out, and among those, a few that might just come together to tell an interesting story quite apart from the project and apparent subject matter: ie. I can make something else out of them. Maybe that's reason enough to continue taking a photo every day. Because at any moment, something lovely is waiting to come into existence (surrounded by a lot of other moments and attempts).
I'm linking to a piece in the National Post by my former boss, Noah Richler: he argues that funding the arts provides a public service quite beyond what can be valued monetarily. The salient point is: some things aren't done for profit--how do we measure their value? And what does what we value and support say about our country?
And, you know, on a very personal level my thinking has been heading this way, too: questioning my compulsion to evaluate what I do in a very black and white, cost-versus-profit manner. I wrote a few posts back about wanting to be independent, financially. That's not a superficial desire. On the other hand, it doesn't take into account--or value--all the ways that I do support my family and contribute, ways that aren't and probably can't be compensated in a "fair" way. In our marriage, we try not to do too much horse-trading, ie. I did the dishes so you have to put the kids to bed. Because that just creates a feeling of unfairness: maybe the dishes are worth only two kids being put to bed; or maybe on that particular evening, the kids need a bath, which is more time-consuming, so it should be worth an extra round of dish-washing; or ... well, you see where I'm going with this. In the same way, there is no way of measuring the effort that goes into, say, writing a book, and compensating it "fairly."
Do I need to be financially independent? That's a really personal question, I guess. I haven't got an answer yet. But I'm interested in all the reasons that maybe, maybe that question throws me off track. Maybe it's a red herring. Maybe the question is: can I accept that the work I've chosen to do may never be compensated at a rate that would allow me to be financially independent? What matters? Is it money?
Labels: money, mothering, triathlon, writing