four children + green dreams + recipes + story writing + running wild + (sanity) = where you'll find me
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
:: Practicing matters. And you can practice anywhere. (She's practicing, on her lap, the song she's memorized and is about to perform.)
:: Being willing to try matters. Signing up for an extra recital, in preparation for a more intense competition next week. Wearing a new dress (and running shoes; just in case). Brushing your hair.
:: Being supportive matters. Even when the recital is long. Even when there are no snacks. Even when you have to do everything imaginable to keep quiet. (Toward the end, CJ was making silent faces to entertain himself; by the last performance he was literally whacking himself on the head repeatedly, but kind of quietly. So he made it through.)
:: Performing matters. Getting up in front of an audience. Doing your best. Sharing what you've learned. (At this point in any recital in which any of my children have ever played, I start to cry. It's involuntary, and happy, but I do try to rein myself in, lest I embarrass the performer.)
On this third day of writing week, I am reminded of a few more things that matter, a great deal, to me.
:: Exercise matters. Note to self: no matter how you may want to, do not sit for two days straight without taking time to go outside and move. And breathe.
:: Perspective matters. It's hard to get perspective inside a room with a closed door. See above, plus add in kids and friends and husband.
:: Kindness and gratitude matter. I can't write what I want to write by force.
:: Preparation matters. I am at the beginning of a project, not the middle, not the end. Here are some metaphors. You can't go into labour if you're not even pregnant. And, the work I need to do now is like composting. Layering information, layering ideas. It looks like waste at this stage. It won't look so good, either, when it starts to rot. But given time, and turning, it will become rich soil. And then I can plant a new garden.
Read between the lines, and you'll guess. This is/will be a tough week. But I'd like to note two lovely and unexpected things that have happened so far.
:: On this third day of my writing week, I wrote a new song.
:: Yesterday, the power went out, and I wrote for several hours with pen and paper. I liked it a lot. No distractions.
I'm mother of four, writer, dreamer, planner, runner, photographer, taking time for a cup of coffee in front of this computer screen. My days are full, yet I keep asking: how can I fill them just a little bit more
-- with depth, with care, with pleasure.