One of the questions I'm asked most often is: how do you get everything done? The funny thing is that from my perspective, I actually have quite a lot of time to sit around and stare out the window. It does seem to be true that I get a lot of different things done, but I'm not going crazy; often I don't feel busy enough. I had no explanation for this until my friend Zoe informed me last week that she'd figured it out.
She said: You don't procrastinate.
And dammit, if that isn't the truth.
Oddly, this can cause problems.
It's true. Getting stuff done too promptly can cause all sorts of unforeseen hassles. "Jumping the gun" is the phrase that comes to mind. Then I have to undo what's been done.
But it's also true that the habit of not "putting off til tomorrow what could be done today" is a useful personality trait when one is aiming for maximum efficiency. (And I do realize that maximum efficiency is not what everyone is aiming for.)
Over the years I've come to recognize the drawbacks of not procrastinating, and now force myself to slow down on certain major decisions. Because I know that once decided, I will throw myself in whole-heartedly. When I'm in, I'm all in. Knowing this has caused me to sit on the fence for longer than comfortable when making big (and sometimes even small) decisions. However, once a decision is made, I don't wait around, I get to it.
This applies to basically everything. I don't say I'll run tomorrow instead when it isn't raining or cold; if I've planned to run, I just run. If I see that the floor needs to be vacuumed, I just vacuum it. If a kid is expressing a particular need, I try to address it immediately. (I mean the less tangible, emotional needs that I know they can't meet themselves; sorry kids, if you're really thirsty you can get that glass of water all by yourself.) Sometimes this means dropping other less pressing tasks. Sometimes it means staying up late at night, or blocking off time on the weekend. Often, very often, it means doing something I don't feel like doing.
But as soon as I start doing it, I'm good.
Maybe that's because I tend to be almost obsessive when on task. Doesn't matter what the task is.
But here's the thing: If I've finished up everything I'm working on, and have not decided what to throw myself at next, I find myself in a restless idle state that does not suit me. Do I need to find more things to do? Or do I just need to learn how to enjoy the idle moments when they arrive? Because there's always something more to be done. Always -- should I choose to take it on. I could be going for a walk this afternoon with my camera in hand, snapping fall photos. I could be writing a poem about chickens for my poetry book club this evening. I could be stretching. I could be reading. I could be writing.
Or I could be sipping a cup of tea and staring out the window, and, frankly, that possibility seems the most likely.
(But part of me wants to be doing more! So much more! ... But what?)
[p.s. Update on afternoon activities: I wrote the damn chicken poem for poetry book club, feeling the pressure now that I am a GG finalist, even if not for poetry. And I read out loud to the (largely unresponsive) dogs from Lorna Crozier's new book of prose poems, The Book of Marvels (what do dogs know about prose poems? These things are marvelous). And I drank a cup of cooling coffee that has sent me into serious over-caffeination. Should have stuck with tea. Otherwise, I'm altogether happy with this afternoon's not-quite-staring-out-the-window activities.]Labels: balance, Big Thoughts, kids, work